The June blog chain topic is as follows:
Post a scene that describes or defines your main character's attitude.
You can take this from any angle: share a scene straight out of your WIP, create a scene for your WIP character that concentrates his/her essence, etc.
Cool! This is the first scene from my brand new WIP that I am very excited about. First draft warning and all of that and it has swearing so if you don't like that I won't be offended if you skip it! I don't think it needs any introduction because, well, it's the first scene!
***
Wes found the dead girl's diary stuffed inside his dorm mattress. Olivia was written in sparkly green pen on the cover. She hadn't bothered to take the price tag off the back. He set the mattress down and opened to the first page.
January 20
It may be melodramatic to write this journal in case anything happens. Julia always said I was a drama queen so I might as well own it, right? I went out to the woods to have a smoke. It was freezing cold and the snow was up to my arse. I hate going out in the snow, but I was pissed at Julia for riding me about classes so I said screw it. She acts like she's so together all the time, but she's not. I heard her last week talking on the phone mom. She was crying about how everything is so hard. We have only been out of high school for two years. Julia acts like she should have a job already for chrissake.
Wes checked his watch. He had to go to class. Damn. He shoved the diary back in the mattress and threw his covers on top. He grabbed his books on the way out and he barely made it in time. Wes nodded at his friend Rabbit as he stumbled into his seat near the back of the class. The professor glared at him. Double Damn. He pulled out his pencil and notebook. He began to scribble down what was on the board. They had a response paper due today. His stomach flipped a little. Triple Damn. Wes checked the front of his notebook to make sure it was tucked in there. Relief. He had grabbed the right notebook. Not exactly the best of starts to his college career, but at least he did the assignment, even if he did think Fried Green Tomatoes was the most boring book on the planet.
Wes spent the next hour wondering how Olivia's diary had ended up in his mattress. When he first got to campus a month ago all of the upperclassmen were talking about the girl who had died over the summer. She had been found burned to death out in the woods. Some of rumors he heard were pretty wild. She had spontaneously combusted. She had been out smoking and fell asleep setting her clothes on fire. She had a crazy ex-boyfriend who was mad at her for breaking up with him. Back in high school the worst rumors her heard in the cafeteria were that someone had done it with someone else last Friday night. That was a bit of a trip. Now the girl seemed to have gotten her diary in his mattress somehow. That was trippier.
When the professor finally let them get out of there he waited for Rabbit. His friend was currently leaned over the desk of some girl Wes didn't know.
“I could help you out in this class you know,” he pulled out a card and handed it to her.
“You have a card?” she sounded amused.
“Would you take me seriously if I didn't?”
“I don't take you seriously now.”
“That's your loss, honey. My cell number is the back if you change your mind.”
Rabbit turned and saw Wes waiting for him and gave a wave. Over Rabbit's shoulder Wes could see the girl shift her bag on shoulder. She was shaking her head, but Wes noticed that she stuffed the card in her pocket. Rabbit watched her leave with a grin on his face.
“At least you can admire the view, right?” Wes asked.
“Only a matter of time, my friend. She'll come around. They always do.”
Here is the list of participants to the June Blog Chain:
LadyMage: http://www.katherinegilraine.com
FreshHell: http://freshhell.wordpress.com/
Collectonian: http://collectonian.livejournal.com
Aimee Laine: http://www.aimeelaine.com/writing/blog
AuburnAssassin: http://clairegillian.wordpress.com/
Lyra Jean: http://lyratorres.wordpress.com/
ME ----> ArcticFox: http://picaresqueblog.blogspot.com/
Fokker Aeroplanbau: http://rightfarright.blogspot.com/
Alpha Echo: http://writersramblings81.blogspot.com/
xcomplex: http://arielemerald.blogspot.com/
CScottMorris: http://cscottmorrisbooks.com/
egoodlett: http://wordlarceny.blogspot.com/
Lilain: http://abigailschmidt.blogspot.com/
defyalllogic: http://tavialewis.com/hyperbolicallyspeaking/
*RomanceWriter*: http://www.staceyespino.blogspot.com
IrishAnnie: http://superpenpower.blogspot.com
Anarchicq: http://anarchicq.com/
12 comments:
"“I don't take you seriously now.”"
That was a great line. :)
What an intriguing premise! I like it very much. We've got a broad outline of three characters and they each have potential. I would especially like to know more about Olivia.
Very cool idea for a story. Wes is definitely a college freshmen, and I'm interested in learning more about Rabbit - is that his last name or a nickname? If it's a nickname, how'd he get it? He seems like a dork with a business card...but the girl may just go for him. And Olivia - what happened to her and how is her story woven with Wes'?
Very cool! Wes is such a cool cucumber...I like him already. And I like Rabbit more. Rabbit looks like fun as fun can be! :)
Good hook. I want to know more about the dead girl, and how her diary ended up where it did.
I do think you could polish this a bit more, it's clear this is a first draft. You do have a good start, though.
One suggestion, italicize the sections from the diary, to avoid confusion.
Interesting premise and foreshadowing. "I don't take you seriously now" made me laugh. I could just picture that and the kind of guy who would try it.
My first thought was is this a ghost story? And did Olivia leave her diary on Wes' bed for him to find.
I love how he immediately forgot about the diary when he entered class. I know I've done that a lot in school. You're in class and all of a sudden "oh no! Did I remember this paper? Do I have the correct textbook?" Putting everything else to the back of my mind.
Love Rabbit as well.
I like it!
Your story is off to a great start. Suspenseful. I was really drawn into it, wanting to know what happened to Olivia. Don't worry about the swearing. I have swearing in my books:)
I gave you an award...
http://writersramblings81.blogspot.com/2010/06/award-and-idea.html
Oh man. This brings me back, I just graduated and so the nostalgia of my first few collage days are coming back to me. I really liked all three characters, but am especially fond of Rabbit. I am really intrigued by the story. Let us know when you're published!
@Ellen Wes is a pretty chill guy. That changes as things go along. Muahahahahaha!
@Aimee Thanks!
@Ahelie We definitely learn more about Olivia. No worries! :0)
@April Thanks! Rabbit is a nickname and we find out how he got it in the book. I'm not telling. Thank you also for the lovely blog award.
@Spits Rabbit is very fun!
@C. Scott Morris Thanks. I am glad you liked the premise. I know it needs some polishing. Hopefully I am up to it.
@Hilary Thanks!
@Lyra Thank you. It is a ghost story in a big way. I am glad you caught that from this little bit. I am also thrilled this rings true for you.
@Matt Thanks!
@De Thank you! That means so much.
@Mystic Thanks! I am so glad it rang true. I was trying hard to get the feel of college days.
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